


Lost Soul

by tokillaladybug



Category: Our Life: Beginnings & Always (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Death, Drowning, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, I'll update tags as the chapters get posted, Love Confessions, MC should be gender neutral, Other, POV Second Person, Smut, Spirits, Urban Fantasy, Violence, after step 3, but some events are moved around bc he's a ghost, ghost au, ghost!cove, kind of, there's no smut yet but there probably will be at some point, tw: drowning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:00:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokillaladybug/pseuds/tokillaladybug
Summary: Cove had been your best friend since you were 8 years old. He was a little cold and distant at first, but you knew from the day he appeared in Sunset Bird that the two of you would be inseparable. There was no avoiding it.You were the only one who could see him, after all.  He was a ghost._________“Jamie, I’m dead.  I’m not really here.  You’re alive and real and have so much potential in this world.  You can’t actually want to stay here forever.”“But I do.”He looked at you now and his expression was flat. “Why would you ever want that?”  He sounded resigned, like he had already made up his mind.“Because I love you, Goddammit!”
Relationships: Cove Holden & Main Character | Jamie Last (Our Life), Cove Holden/Reader
Comments: 34
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So enough of you on Tumblr decided you liked this idea so here's chapter 1! I have half of the next chapter written and will post it once it's actually done, but I don't know what kind of schedule this will be on and I don't really know how long this will grow. 
> 
> Thanks so much for all your love on my other Our Life fics. I never really intended to write so much for this tiny fandom, but y'all are just so nice and the comments really fueled me to keep writing. 
> 
> Follow me on my Tumblr under the same name if you want to yell at me more about this fic or anything else Our Life related. Oh, and any comments/feedback/suggestions about where the fic is going are appreciated!
> 
> Also, as per my last big fic, I tried my best to keep the MC gender-neutral and I use the name Jamie just to have something, but you can use an extension to find and replace your name if you want to. LMK if I did an ok job at staying gender-neutral and whatnot.

Cove had been your best friend since you were 8 years old. He was a little cold and distant at first, but you knew from the day he appeared in Sunset Bird that the two of you would be inseparable. There was no avoiding it.

You were the only one who could see him, after all. He was a ghost.

Cove came to Sunset Bird when his father moved into the house across the street from yours. Cliff Holden was a reserved kind of man, who kept to himself. Your moms told you that he was grieving the loss of his son and struggling through an emotional divorce. You didn’t tell them that you already knew that.

Cove’s spirit traveled back and forth between Sunset Bird and his mother’s home in Nevada, sometimes on purpose and sometimes accidentally. When he was young, he couldn’t travel more than a few blocks away from them, though as you both got older, so too did he get stronger.

On this particular day, Cove was sitting next to you in the passenger seat of your car as you drove to the local library. Your moms had insisted that you leave the house for a few hours to work on your schoolwork, and you couldn’t dissuade them this time. You turned up the volume on the radio as the song changed, and you watched from the corner of your eye as Cove started to belt out the lyrics, swinging his head dramatically this way and that. His vibrant green hair tossed this way and that. 

You couldn’t help but smile at his good mood.

As a child, he hadn’t been able to affect anything physically in this world, but over the years he learned that with great energy he could do small things like flipping a light switch, picking up a pencil, or moving a book. But, depending on the effort involved, he would often disappear for hours afterward.

He called the place he went The Nothingness.

He described it as an empty sort of limbo where nothing seemed real. Time was difficult for him to feel while he was there, and every time he returned, he had no idea how long he was gone. His thoughts would never quite fully form and he wouldn’t be able to move to speak.

He tried his best not to go there very often though, and in recent years he was usually able to gauge his energy well so that he wouldn’t have to. 

Cove laughed as the song on the radio ended and you laughed with him. He looked over at you now, beaming bright, and said, “you know, I think today’s going to be a good day.”

“Me too,” you responded with a laugh. 

The two of you made your way into the local library, and you found a small table in the corner to sit at. Without thinking, you pulled out two chairs next to each other, sat down in one, and started laying out all of your things on the table. You lay your jacket over the back of the other chair so no one would take it, and Cove sat there, next to you. 

“You know,” he said with a conspiring smile, “it’s pretty busy here today. Maybe you’ll run into someone you know and actually have to socialize.”

You glared at him out of the corner of your eye and bit your tongue, unable to respond. Instead, you grabbed a pen and a sticky note and scribbled out _no._ You lay out his most recent book of choice next to your laptop and flipped to the bookmarked page. 

He laughed. He loved to tease you in these moments, when you couldn’t respond the same way. 

You tried to duck your head into your work, though it was slow going. After a few minutes, you saw Cove reach out to turn the page of his book and you shot your hand out, passing through his, to turn the page for him. You gave him a knowing look, not wanting him to waste his energy, and he smiled sheepishly back. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

You turned back to your work with a soft smile. You quickly scribbled on the sticky note. _Just trying to keep you around. I’ll turn the pages for you._

He nodded.

And so you sat like that for a while, slugging through your work and turning the page when he needed. 

It was nearly summer now. Your classes were ramping up towards your final exams, but it was hard to pay attention to them when all you really wanted to do was relax at the beach. You were also nervously waiting for the news about school admissions. 

You’d decided to transfer to the online classes at a much more prestigious university. Your current university didn’t offer the specialization you’d wanted to switch to for your final degree, and if you didn’t get into this one, had promised your moms that you would go to the same school Elizabeth was at right now. You had already received your acceptance letter in the mail last week. 

That would mean living in a dorm, away from home, and the thought was nearly unbearable. 

And so you waited, hoping to get your acceptance to your preferred university instead. The letter should be here any day now. 

Cove eventually got bored of reading and instead took to walking around the room, looking over people’s shoulders and snooping on what they were doing. He was humming to himself as he went, the song from earlier stuck in his head. 

Obviously being invisible to everyone else helped with snooping like that, but it was also helped by the fact that he towered over nearly everyone at 6’4. It was so easy for him to lean over people’s shoulders.

You weren’t entirely sure why Cove aged, but you didn’t actually know much about ghosts. When you had met, you both had been 8 years old, and he had seemed to keep up with you as you aged over the last 12 years. He’s gone through growth spurts and puberty just like anyone else. One of your favorite memories involved Cove’s cracking voice at 13 when you ran into an obnoxious new kid in the neighborhood.

You hadn’t really expected ghosts to age, they never did in movies. But, what else would you call the incorporeal spirit of someone who died?

When you were young, you had told your moms all about Cove. They were convinced that he was your imaginary friend, and since you were a bit of a lonely child, they were just happy to see you happy. 

You spent quite a few years talking to them about Cove, happy to let them believe he was imaginary. It meant you got to keep him to yourself.

Of course, having an imaginary friend was a lot less acceptable as a teenager. 

After an incident when you were thirteen, you stopped talking to them about Cove altogether, and they seemed to accept that you had moved on. You hadn’t, obviously. Cove was still your very best friend, you just got much better at hiding it. 

You never really made any other friends outside of the casual acquaintances to help you pass time at school. You kept your grades up well enough over the years - it helped that you tried to teach Cove everything you learned. You wanted him to get an education too, even if it was a bit unorthodox. And Cove being Cove, he was happy to sit with you and listen to you talk for hours. 

You’re sure that your family thought you were exceptionally lonely. While your moms never said as much, Elizabeth was happy to bring it up often when you were teenagers.

She was always surrounded by more friends than she knew what to do with, so that made your differences all the more noticeable. You were able to dodge her taunts well enough though, and she grew out of them as she grew up. Once she left home for school things became even easier. 

As you grew up, you chose hobbies and interests that let you spend time alone in your room without judgment: reading, painting, video games, etc. You didn’t mind it one bit. Being alone meant spending time with Cove.

You were in love with him, after all. You had been for some time now. 

For now, you weren’t sure if you would ever tell him. How would that even work? You can’t touch each other, can’t kiss each other. Hell, 2 years into university and you still stayed at home because you couldn’t leave the neighborhood with him. 

And so you stayed in stasis, much like him, taking online classes, spending hours in your room, or lying in the grass on the hill behind your house. 

It was enough. It was good.

Cove came back to his seat next to you and you gave him a questioning eyebrow as if to ask: _anything good?_

“Everyone’s boring today,” he huffed. “It’s all school work and spreadsheets and newspapers. Although, there was one person having a texting argument with their boyfriend.”

You made a face.

“Yeah, it didn’t look good.”

You sighed lightly and stretched. _Ready to go?_ You wrote, followed by, _I don’t think I’m going to get anything more done._

Cove agreed, and so you started to pack up your things to head out. It had only been a couple of hours, but you knew it was long enough to appease your moms. They would just be happy you left your room this morning. 

The change from the cool air condition to hot humid air was jarring. The sun was not high in the sky and it was looking like it would be another blistering May day. 

Of course, Cove seemed unfazed.

He smiled and stretched in the sun, and in a blink, sunglasses materialized over his eyes. 

You watched his shadowless form stride across the parking lot, straight to your car. You knew he didn’t need those sunglasses, but little things like that sometimes made him feel more normal.

You tossed your bag into the back seat unceremoniously and flopped down into the front seat with a huff. You felt a droplet of sweat trickle down the back of your neck, and you were already warm from the brief walk across the parking lot. Cove passed through the car door and sat in the passenger seat, and smiled at you as you turned the car on and hurried to get the air conditioning on. 

“By the way, Mom asked me to pick up a few things from the market on the way home.” The market was usually on the very edge of where Cove could go, so you asked, “do you think you can come with, or would you rather meet me at home?”

He thought for a moment and then said, “Yeah, I think I can come with. It’s been a good day.”

His enthusiasm was infectious, so, with a smile, you switched the radio back on and pulled the car out of the parking lot and down the road. 

“What did you want to do today?” 

You hummed as you thought your options over, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel. You could continue watching an anime you started the other day, but Cove hadn’t been watching it with you. You could watch a movie together or play a board game, or maybe you could work on finishing that sketch in your sketchbook from a few days ago. Or maybe you could relax on the hill behind your house. The fireflies should be back any day now.

“Jamie?” Cove looked at you with a hint of concern and you realized that you’d taken a bit too long to respond. The sunglasses were gone from his face.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll figure it out when we get home.” You turned another corner and drove down the main street, only a few blocks away from the market. 

He nodded, “yeah, ok. You know, maybe we…” He trailed off. You looked over at him and saw this his hand was pressed to his face. “Ah, shit.”

And then Cove was gone.

You sighed. You must have driven past his limit today. He would have snapped back home to your neighborhood, to his dad’s house, and he’ll probably be waiting for you when you get home. 

You went to the market alone and picked up the groceries Mom asked for. The heat of the afternoon was still growing and you wanted to finish quickly so that you could go home to the sweet sweet air conditioning. 

Both your moms were busy working when you got home, so you unloaded the groceries by yourself, picked up a drink from the refrigerator, and made your way upstairs to your room.

Cove was lounging on your bed when you opened the door. If it weren’t for the fact that his weight never dipped the bed, and his movements never mussed the sheets, you would have thought he was really there. He had his hands propped behind his head and his eyes were closed as he hummed along to the song still stuck in his head. 

“I see you’ve made yourself comfortable,” you joked.

The way his hair lay fanned out behind him, you wished you could run your fingers through it. It looked so soft, the seafoam green looking more like golden grass as it shone in the warm sunbeam.

You dumped your bag onto the floor of your room and sat down next to him on the bed. 

“I knew you’d be back soon.”

You pulled out your phone and searched up the song he was humming. If he was going to hum it on repeat, at least this way you could enjoy it together. As soon as you did, he started singing out loud to the lyrics and you could hear the smile in his voice.

You tried to nudge Cove’s knee with your foot without thinking, and your foot passed through him freely. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice your mistake, still singing along to the song. Instead, you cleared your throat and waited for him to look at you. 

Instead of opening his eyes, he asked, “bored already?”

You huffed. “Well, you never told me what you wanted to do.”

“Oh, right, sorry about that.” He opened his eyes to look and you and he smiled sheepishly. “I thought I would be ok.”

You waved him off. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

His eyes twinkled as his tone turned to teasing, “You could try working on your coursework some more, you know.”

“Yeah, right.” You groaned and scrubbed a hand over your face. “Anything is better than that.”

He laughed, and it sounded like music to your ears. “Why don’t we watch more of that anime you started the other day?”

“Oh.” You were surprised he’d been paying attention to that. At the time, he’d been engrossed in a podcast you put on for him. “Did you want me to start at the beginning?”

“No, it’s ok. I think I got the basics.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Ok!” You quickly got your laptop set up, and shifted over so that he could sit next to you. He sat down with his feet tucked underneath him, leaning his head on your shoulder, though you couldn’t feel it. Still, the sentiment felt nice anyway.

You both sat like that for a few hours, content to sit through episode after episode. The sun dipped low on the horizon and the sky bloomed with beautiful colors like it did every night. 

It was one of your favorite things about taking over your sister’s room when she left for university - the view was exceptional. 

Sitting like that in the warm light, you slowly started to drift off to sleep. It was warm and cozy and comfortable. In the sweet limbo between awake and asleep, you could have sworn that you felt the faintest pressure on your cheek, but the haze of your dreams overtook you before you could question it.

When you woke, it couldn’t have been long, because the sky still shone the faintest pink glow along the ocean, though the rest of the sky was quickly becoming a deep shade of blue. 

“Jamie. Dinner.” You Ma called from the hall. 

You scrubbed a hand over your face and looked around. Cove was nowhere to be seen. Your laptop had been shut and was set on your bedside table, and you assumed that Cove had moved it for you so it wouldn’t fall. It was sweet, but you kind of wished he hadn’t. Using his energy for something like that would usually send him to The Nothingness for an hour or two.

“Coming,” you called back through the door, and then you heard faint footsteps disappear down the hall. 

You took the time to stretch before getting up and heading downstairs. Dinner wasn’t anything unusual, though your mom’s maybe seemed quieter than usual. You all talked about how you were looking forward to Elizabeth coming home for the summer.

As you were clearing away the dishes from dinner, your mom pointed at the stack of mail on the counter and said, “I think some things came in for you this afternoon.”

You picked up the stack and flipped through. Junk. Junk. Monthly Bank Statement. Junk. Postcard from Lee. Junk. Junk. 

Your hands froze at the last letter. 

It was from the university.

With shaking fingers, you ripped open the envelope and mumbled the words out loud as you read. 

“Dear Jamie Last, we regret to inform you…”

The letter slipped from your fingers and fluttered to the floor. It was unfair. You’d been so sure that things would work out.

Your Ma picked up the letter off the floor and glanced it over. “Oh, sweetheart.” She pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry, I know you were looking forward to continuing online classes.”

Your Mom joined into the hug as well, holding you both. “It’ll be ok. You have other options.”

You could feel the tears well up in the corners of your eyes, but you really didn’t want them to see just how upset you were. They knew that online classes were your first choice, but not any of the reasons why. With a small sniffle, you pushed away and tried your best to smile. 

“Yeah, it’ll be ok. I’m going to go to my room now though. I don’t feel so well.”

Without waiting for a response, you marched up the stairs, barely holding away the tears until the door to your room was shut behind you. 

You strode across the room and flopped on the bed, grabbing a pillow tightly to your chest. The tears slipped down your cheeks despite your best efforts and you held back a sob. 

Should you choose your degree, going away to university for the next two years? Or should you set your degree aside and look for work instead? What would you even do for work around here? And would your moms expect you to move into a place of your own if you were working? How far away would you be able to be to still see Cove? What if there was nothing around? What would you do after university? You can’t keep living at home forever. Eventually, you’ll have to leave anyway.

All your worries swirled around so fast it was making your head spin. You clutched the pillow even tighter to your chest and buried your face in it to muffle a sob. 

“Jamie…”

You heard Cove’s murmur and your head snapped up. He was standing in the middle of your room with his eyes wide. 

“What happened? How long was I…”

You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes and took a deep breath, but it did nothing to stop the sobs. He was back so much faster than you thought. 

With a shaking breath, you said, “uh, maybe an hour…”

His hands were shoved awkwardly in his pockets as if he didn’t know what to do with them. He slowly stepped over to the bed and sat down. He watched you and waited as you took your time.

You couldn’t tell him the truth, well, not the whole truth anyway. But you could maybe tell him some. 

“The University rejected me. I won’t be able to keep taking classes online if I want to get my degree.” Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence as your chest shook with a new sob. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

You shoved your face back into the pillow and clung even tighter still. God, the things you would do for just one hug from Cove.

After a few minutes, you heard Cove say, “It’ll be ok. You have so many other options you can do. I’m sure there are so many universities that would take you.”

You pulled your knees up to your chest as close as you could. “But I don’t want to go to those universities. I want to stay home with you.” You didn’t bother looking up, letting your words get muffled by the pillow.

“You’re going to have to leave home sometime. You have a life to go live. I’ll be ok here.”

You looked up at him now. He looked at you with a somber expression and you wished you could take it away. “But I don’t want to leave you.”

“I can’t keep you here forever.” Cove tried to smile but you knew it wasn’t genuine. 

You flopped backward onto the bed, still hugging the pillow to your chest. A little forceful, you said, “you’re not keeping me here, I want to be here.”

“I AM keeping you here.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. And you know it. You have the rest of your life to live out there, in the real world. Not cooped up in one small neighborhood, hiding away by yourself.”

“I’m happy like this.”

“Are you? You don’t have any other friends. You barely talk to your family anymore.” 

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not. Maybe…” He scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned back against the wall. After a minute he said, “Maybe I should just leave. Then you would have to find something better.”

“You would just leave?” You sat up to watch him.

“It’s not like I want to. But Jamie, I’M NOT HERE. I’m keeping you in limbo just like I am. I shouldn’t have even been around this long. I’ve been selfish.”

Your heart started to pound in your throat. “But I want you here. You would just throw away our friendship just like that?” This couldn’t be happening. A new wave of tears threatened to fall down your cheeks.

“I don’t want to, but what else should I do.” He wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

Your voice was starting to rise. “Just stay. We can both stay.”

“Jamie, I’m dead. I’m not really here. You’re alive and real and have so much potential in this world. You can’t actually want to stay here forever.”

“But I do.”

He looked at you now and his expression was flat. “Why would you ever want that?” He sounded resigned, like he had already made up his mind.

“Because I love you, Goddammit!” Without thinking, you threw your pillow at him out of frustration and anger.

And it hit him with a soft thud.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated the tags for the fic based on the new chapter. Please make sure that it's ok before you read.

_“Jamie, I’m dead. I’m not really here. You’re alive and real and have so much potential in this world. You can’t actually want to stay here forever.”_

_“But I do.”_

_He looked at you now and his expression was flat. “Why would you ever want that?” He sounded resigned, like he had already made up his mind._

_“Because I love you, Goddammit!” Without thinking, you threw your pillow at him out of frustration and anger._

_And it hit him with a soft thud._

__________

You both stared at each other for a minute. You weren’t entirely sure what surprised you more, the fact that you said that, or the fact that the pillow actually hit him.

You watched in shock as he picked up the pillow with ease, rubbing his thumb over the fabric. He looked up at you with confusion, then back to the pillow in his hands, then back to you, before setting the pillow aside. 

Cove slowly sat up and reached his hand out to yours, brushing his fingertips over the back of your hand. You felt it, so gentle it almost tickled. His gaze was entranced by his hand, but yours was locked on his face. 

His fingers skimmed up your arm and over your shoulder, crinkling the fabric of your shirt.

“What…?” Your voice came out so quiet you could barely hear yourself.

He murmured back, “I don’t know.”

He pressed his hand into your jaw and brushed a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear.

You held your breath as if anything you did would cause this moment to shatter apart. 

Cove reached his other hand to your other cheek and gently wiped the tears there too. He brought your foreheads to rest together, looking straight into your eyes with earnest. His voice trembled and cracked as he spoke, truly, from the heart. “I love you…” He closed his eyes tightly, and after a moment, repeated himself, this time more firmly. “I love you.”

You watched as tears started to well up in the corners of his eyes and it broke your heart.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just- I tried so much to love you quietly, secretly, and that being it. But I… I really wanted you to feel the same. I wanted you to love me back. I wanted to hear you say it.” He took a deep, shaking breath.

With trembling fingers, you reached your right hand up to cup the back of his hand where it rested against your cheek. The skin felt soft and warm under your fingers. It was there. He was really there.

The tears finally slipped down his cheeks as he said, “I didn’t know how to handle that! I didn’t know what to do. But I didn’t want to put any of that on you either. I can’t give you those things like someone real, someone alive.”

“I don’t care,” you whispered.

Slowly. Excruciatingly slowly, Cove tilted his face forward and gently pressed his lips to yours. They were warm and soft and pliable. And they were real.

You let out the breath you were holding and relaxed against him. Abandoning caution, you pressed your mouth firmly against his and deepened the kiss, swirling your tongue across the edge of his lip. He responded in kind. You curled your hands into the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you.

Cove leaned over you and pressed a hand between your shoulder blades, shifting you until you were settled flat on your back. 

All you wanted was to touch every inch of him, and so that’s what you tried to do. You curled one hand through his hair, and it was just as soft as it always looked. Your other hand skimmed under the hem of his t-shirt and up his back, feeling the smooth planes and curves of the muscles under your palm. You could feel his heartbeat under your fingertips, warm and steady.

Cove slid his hand out from under your back, down your side, and around our hip, to massage handfuls of your ass. It sent shivers down your spine and you felt warmth pool low in your abdomen. 

You broke away your mouth with a gasp, and Cove took the opportunity to press kissed along your jaw and down your neck instead. 

You slipped your knee between his thighs and pressed upwards, raking your nails carefully down his back at the same time. Cove let out a low moan and reflexively bucked his hips down into yours. 

“God, Jamie…” He murmured the words into your skin and it sent vibrations through your chest.

You had absolutely no idea how this was possible. Maybe you’d finally gotten stuck in one of your daydreams? Or maybe you’d died and become a ghost yourself. 

Either way, you weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

You untangled your fingers from his hair and brought your hand down to his jaw. You tilted his face up until you could kiss him again, pushing your tongue deep into his mouth and drinking him in. 

He responded fervently, pressing your chests closer together. The solid weight of him above you was comforting and grounding. If this was a dream, it was a very good dream.

Your head was spinning and your chest was tight and your core was warm and your skin was electric.

It was almost too much.

You heard a knock on your door, shattering the quiet air. Your Ma called out, “Jamie? Is everything ok?”

The two of you sprang apart, and Cove bolted upright off the bed. You were both panting and couldn’t help but stare at each other. His face was flushed and there was the faint sheen of sweat along his brow. 

“I, uh, Jamie... wow,” he said eloquently.

You quickly sat up and smoothed out the wrinkles in your clothes. You gave him a look that you hoped would convey that you would talk later.

Your Ma’s voice called through the door again, “Jamie? Is someone in there with you?” She sounded confused more than anything else.

Cove squeaked out of shock and clapped his hand over his mouth to muffle himself a second too late. 

She heard him?!

“Um, everything’s fine, Ma,” your voice cracked as you spoke. You knew you must be just as flushed as Cove. 

“Uh-huh.” Her tone was flat and you knew she didn’t believe you.

“Yeah!” You tried so hard to sound normal, but you were still panting and it gave a squeaky pitch to your voice.

A beat passed and you held your breath.

She cleared her throat and spoke firmly, leaving no room for debate in your mind. “Meet us downstairs in 10 minutes, and bring your friend.” You heard her footsteps slowly echo down the hall.

Once she was far enough away, you rounded on Cove, and the words burst from your chest without thought. “She heard you?! What the fuck is going on? Can they see you? Are you real?” Your voice got increasingly high pitched until it became something of an incomprehensible whine. “Cove?!”

Cove looked equally panicked, and he shoved his hands into his hair and tugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” He started pacing around your room, and the footsteps of his shoes echoed like cannon fire in your ears.

You tried to take a breath, though it’s shaky and stilted, and you wondered out loud about what to do. “Okay. Okay. We’ll need to make sure we’re on the same page. Maybe you’re a friend from school and I just invited you over. I don’t know.” You rubbed a hand across your face. “The fewer details the better. And they can’t know your last name - they know your dad across the street and I don’t want them asking him questions.”

Cove’s pacing had become increasingly frantic as you spoke. His hair was mussed wildly from his tight grip. He kept mumbling panicked half-sentences to himself, his voice rising in pitch and intensity. You blinked and he’s suddenly across the room, now whipping back and forth faster than his feet can carry him.

The light of your lamp flickered, sending the room into a moment of darkness. At first, you don’t think it’s related, but then it happened again. And again. You heard the sound of glass cracking and the snap of a burst of electricity.

The lightbulb on your lamp burst, sending small shards of glass in every direction, and you barely managed to bring your arm up to protect your face in time.

Your arm stung and you squinted in the moonlight. The room was nearly dark now without the light of the lamp, but you could still see the dots or red welling up on the skin of your arm from the glass. 

Another crack of electricity sounded in the room but you weren’t sure where it was coming from. 

You jumped up from your seat on the bed and reached out to Cove, trying to catch him as his form blurred and blinked across your room. You managed to bring your arms down onto his shoulders and, thankfully, they made solid contact. 

“Cove!” You spun him around by the shoulders to face you. 

His steps faltered and he stopped in front of you. After a moment, he noticed that you have him gripped tightly and he surged forward to bring you into a bone-crushing hug. Burying his tear-stained face into your shoulder, he said “I don’t know what to do.”

You hugged him back, unsure of what else you could do, and tried to think of what you would say to your moms. The crackling sounds faded and you hoped whatever was happening had passed. 

After a moment, Cove mumbled into your shoulder, “I never thought I would get to hug you.”

Your heart clenched at the words and you couldn’t help but say, “me too, Cove.”

The two of you stood there for a long moment and you tried your best to just enjoy being able to hold him for the first time. Cove’s sniffles faded and you felt his breathing return to a more normal pace. You wondered if breathing felt differently to him now. 

“We’ll figure this out together,” you said. “I promise.”

He lifted his head from your shoulder and leaned back slightly to look you in the face. His eyebrows were still scrunched with concern but he had a faint, hopeful smile. 

You wiped the tear trails from his cheeks with your thumb and rested your hand against his cheek, trying your best to smile brightly and show you meant what you had said. 

“Can I kiss you, again?” 

Cove’s question surprised you, but you nodded, still more than a little over-the-moon that your confession had been reciprocated.

Slowly, gently, Cove took your face in his hands and leaned towards you, giving you ample time to pull away if you wanted. Your eyes fluttered closed as he approached, and barely a moment later you felt the gentle, warm press of his lips to yours. 

This kiss was less insistent, less hurried than the last. You took your time, holding him to you and letting him take the lead. 

You felt the barest pressure of his tongue skimming over your bottom lip, and you opened to receive him. You crinkled your hands into the fabric of his shirt once more, but otherwise resisted the urge to push him against the wall and take things further. Those things would come with time.

Eventually, Cove pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, giving you both a chance to catch your breath. 

Your eyes fluttered open and you were met with the beautiful sight of his flushed cheeks and bright blue eyes watching you with adoration. 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too,” you whispered back, and you both smiled at each other once more. 

You realized now that you didn’t have much more time before you needed to be downstairs. Your moms were waiting to have a talk with you and you still weren’t entirely sure what to tell them.  
You were about to say something about that when Cove interrupted.

“Do you feel that?”

At first, you weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. Your arm still stung a little from earlier, but you weren’t about to tell that to Cove, not when he was in such a fragile state. 

You breathed out a sigh as you tried to think, and it puffed cold in the air, just visible in the faint moonlight.

You hadn’t even noticed how cold it had gotten in here. It definitely hadn’t been this cold when you had come up from dinner. When did that change? Was it because of the electricity surge earlier?

“Jamie?” Cove was looking at you with concern and you realized you hadn’t responded yet.

“Oh, it’s pretty cold.” You puffed out another breath to prove your point. “Is that what you meant?”

He nodded. “I haven’t really felt cold since I was a kid, so I wasn’t sure if this was normal.”

“It’s not,” you responded, “not when we’re inside anyway. And not in May.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and you weren’t quite sure how to read his face. You watched his gaze shift quickly from you to the window behind you and his brows drew together sharply.

“Cove?”

His voice was clipped. “Did you see that?” 

You searched the room, spinning around in his arms to do so. There were still small shards of glass everywhere, but the moonlight was enough to see by, now that your eyes had adjusted to it. Finally, you asked, “see what?”

Cove put his hand on your shoulder to direct you to stand behind him as he walked carefully over to the window. Glass crunched softly under his shoes. 

You still couldn’t see anything that would be enough out of the ordinary to cause Cove to act like this, and after a moment, you asked again, “see what, Cove?” 

He didn’t respond, his attention fixed entirely on whatever was outside the window. 

As Cove neared the window, you saw frost curl around the edges of the glass, and the panes started to fog, giving it a blurry look and causing the moonlight in the room to dim slightly. 

“Cove, you’re scaring me.” 

He finally looked back at you now, and from this angle his face was half-covered in shadow, making it hard to read. “Jamie, I think something’s outside.”

Before you could respond, a loud cracking sound broke the quiet air and, for the second time today, you were shielding your face from broken glass. Your entire bedroom window shattered without warning and the glass bit and stung at your arms. 

Cove cried out, and when you were able to look again, you saw blood dripping down his arm and onto the floor.

Where you had a few small nicks and cuts, he now had a long large gash across his upper arm and shoulder. His other hand was pressed against it and he had stepped back against the wall. The sleeve of his shirt quickly soaked through with blood. 

Wind swirled through the room and fog rolled up from the floorboards. You carefully stepped towards Cove, trying not to step over any more glass with your bare feet. 

Before you could get there, Cove shouted out, “who are you?!”

Your face snapped up from the floor, but you didn’t see anyone in the room, nor did you hear anyone. 

Cove was watching a spot on the other side of the room, his face was still twisted in both pain and fear. After a moment, he said, “what do you want?”

“Cove?” You couldn’t help but try to get his attention. It looked as if he was talking to empty air.

His eyes flickered to you but he remained facing this invisible thing. 

He was dripping a sizable pool of blood on your floor and his breath was getting more and more ragged. Glass be damned, you strode across the room, ignoring the biting pain in your feet, and reached out to Cove to grab his hand.

Your fingers passed right through him.

If he knew you were there, he didn’t acknowledge it. Still speaking to the empty air, he said, “I don’t understand. What do you want with me?” He pushed himself away from where he was leaning against the wall and started to walk towards whatever he was talking to.

You tried to grab his arm to stop him, but your hands passed through him again, just as they always had. “Cove, what are you doing?!” You were nearly shouting at this point out of desperation. 

His shoes didn’t crunch across the glass this time as he walked through the fog.

With anger, he said, “leave me alone. Leave us alone!” 

The room felt like it grew smaller as the light dimmed and the fog grew thicker. Your chest grew tight and you fought to keep your breath.

“No, Jamie has nothing to do with this!” 

You heard Cove speak, but your head was feeling light and it was so hard to see now. You leaned heavily against the wall to try to keep yourself upright. All you could see was the faint glimmer of Cove’s seafoam hair and you tried to hold onto that in your mind. 

“Fine! Fine, but leave Jamie out of this.”

The pounding in your head slowed and your lungs burned as you gasped in smaller and smaller breaths. You blinked and suddenly Cove was next to you, above you, barely a blur of blue and green and red. 

You heard Cove speak, sounding distant and muffled. “I’m sorry.”

The air suddenly returned and you gasped, taking in deep lungfuls of the night air. Your vision splashed with spots of color and light before slowly returning. You were seated on the ground. Your legs had given out at some point.

Cove was nowhere to be seen.

The fog, the wind, and the frost were all gone, but the shattered glass remained.

And the blood. So much blood. 

You screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, idk how many of you were expecting that tonal change for the story. Let me know what you think! Any comments or criticism are welcome. And you can always come yell at me on my Tumblr by the same name. 
> 
> One of these days I'll not end a chapter on a cliffhanger, but today is not one of those days.


	3. Chapter 3

_You heard Cove speak, sounding distant and muffled. “I’m sorry.”_

_The air suddenly returned and you gasped, taking in deep lungfuls of the night air. Your vision splashed with spots of color and light before slowly returning. You were seated on the ground. Your legs had given out at some point._

_Cove was nowhere to be seen._

_The fog, the wind, and the frost were all gone, but the shattered glass remained._

_And the blood. So much blood._

_You screamed._

\----------

The sunlight filtered through the window softly, and you could see tiny particles floating in the air. The way they moved reminded you of the fireflies behind your home, twinkling and dancing this way and that. 

Cove had loved watching the fireflies with you.

“Jamie?”

Your head snapped up from staring at your lap. Your new therapist, Dr. Johnson, was watching you with that same calm and collected expression.

You cleared your throat and shook those thoughts away. It was difficult. Refocusing on Dr. Johnson, you said, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Dr. Johnson shifted in her seat and crossed her legs. “Jamie, where were you just now? What were you thinking about?”

You felt restless and uncomfortable, and you rubbed your hands together to ease some of the tension. You couldn’t help but glance at the sunbeam again. “I don’t know,” you lied.

In the month since the incident, you’d been to therapy 3 times, at your Mom’s request, but you didn’t think it would do any good. How could it? You can’t actually talk about what happened. No one would believe you. 

She waited a moment, and you wondered if she knew that you were lying. Thankfully, it seemed like she either believed you or didn’t want to push the issue.

“Why don’t you tell me one more time what you remember from that night? You might remember something new.”

You resisted the urge to put your head in your hands.

You’d been over the story - the half you could say - so many times. With Dr. Johnson. With the police. With your moms.

You did your best to force eye contact, hoping to prove sincerity. “Like I said, I was in my room and the lightbulb broke, and then the window broke. I don’t know why. I passed out, and when I came to, I was at the hospital.” You sighed. “That’s it.”

You watched as Dr. Johnson marked something down in her tiny spiral notebook. 

You realized that you were itching the scab on your forehead again and snatched your hand away. It was almost healed, but you were trying to make sure that it didn’t take any longer than it had to. 

Dr. Johnson turned her attention back to you and asked, “have you been sleeping?”

You didn’t want to admit it, but the honest answer was no, not at all really. Instead, you said, “kind of.” When her gaze didn’t waver, you followed up by saying, “it’s difficult sometimes.”

She nodded, and with a note of understanding, said, “tell me more.”

“The moonlight reminds me, and the window.” You took a shaky breath, hoping that if you were careful with your words, she might be able to actually help you here. “And I don’t know how to face something I can’t see, can’t predict. I still don’t know exactly what happened or why.”

You still haven’t seen Cove again.

“I miss…” _Cove._ “I miss what it was before.”

“There’s nothing wrong with covering the window and sleeping with the light on. There’s no shame in it.”

You’d already tried that, and it didn’t change anything, but you weren’t sure how to say that. 

She asked, “your sister, Elizabeth, came home for the summer, yes?”

You nodded.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sleeping in your room if you want the company. Having someone close can be especially helpful when times are confusing.”

You knew that she would do that in a heartbeat if you asked. You almost had many times now. But you couldn’t help but hope that Cove would return, and you wanted to be able to speak to him if he did, without fear of your sister overhearing. 

Dr. Johnson seemed to take your silence as hesitation on the subject and said, “think it over. Now is the best time to reach out to those that love you. Lean on them.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Yeah… you’re probably right.”

\----------

When you stepped onto the curb outside of Dr. Johnson’s office, you let out a sigh of relief. Not only was it difficult to wade your way through those appointments, but the chill air conditioning put you on edge. Though the heat was sweltering outside and it made you sweat almost immediately, you preferred it to the biting cold of the office.

The afternoon sun was beating down on the pavement and you could see the heatwaves distorting the asphalt across the parking lot.

Maybe today you’ll go down to the beach.

You watched as Elizabeth pulled her car around from the other side of the parking lot. She rolled down the passenger window and leaned over to say, with a little too much cheer, “hop in, we’re getting smoothies!”

You did as you were told and settled into the passenger seat. The car wasn’t as warm as the air outside, but Elizabeth had carefully lowered the air conditioning to the minimum needed to make the heat bearable. Though you hadn’t said anything, she was the first who noticed that you didn’t like the cold anymore.

“You know, one thing I did not miss about Sunset Bird was the heat. It’s probably 95° outside today.”

Though she focused on the road, you could see the smile on her face. Despite all the jokes over the years, you knew she still loved this place as much as you did. You had. 

It was different now.

“It doesn’t help that you only visit at the hottest time of year.” You gave a small smile and hoped it was enough.

She laughed. “Yeah, well…” She trailed off and you knew what she didn’t say. She came home early because of you. She missed her own graduation ceremony because of you. She was here because of you. She wasn’t supposed to be here until next month. Instead, she simply said, “it’s not all bad.”

You hummed a non-committal response, not quite sure what to say.

The rest of the afternoon was actually rather pleasant if you didn’t think about it too hard. You knew that Elizabeth really was trying her best to make you feel like nothing had changed. 

You’d enjoyed your smoothies together, and then Elizabeth insisted that you walk around the mall. She said it was because she was looking for a new pair of earrings, but you noticed that she didn’t look very hard. 

She’d dragged you along to each and every store, walking through all the aisles and making sure to check every sale rack. She even suggested that you stop in and watch a movie at the theater, although that idea was vetoed when you both remembered what time you should be home for dinner.

The two of you made it home just in time. 

When Elizabeth turned the car onto your street, you saw Cove’s father unloading groceries from his car. You’d never gotten to know him very well, but he seemed nice enough. Cove hadn’t liked talking about him too much. You had always thought that it was hard for him.

You wondered if he ever felt Cove around.

Maybe one of these days you would talk to him, once thinking about Cove didn’t hurt so much. 

Mr. Holden watched you and Elizabeth from across the street, giving you a long look. You waved at him through the window as Elizabeth pulled into the driveway, and he waved back, looking a bit surprised that you did so first. 

As Elizabeth parked the car, you looked down the street at the ocean view. The sun was still relatively high in the sky. It probably wouldn’t set for another few hours. Maybe there was time to go to the beach still. 

Mr. Holden stepped inside as you and Elizabeth got out of the car, and you weren’t sure why, but something felt strange about that to you. 

When the two of you stepped inside, you saw your moms sitting on the couch together, heads bent low, talking about something. They snapped up almost simultaneously when Elizabeth called out a greeting. You didn’t know what they were talking about, but it wasn’t hard to guess that it had something to do with you and your _situation_.

“How was your day?” You heard a bit of forced cheer in your Ma’s voice as she spoke.

“It was… nice,” you said. It wasn’t a lie exactly, it was as nice a day as you thought you could have right now.

Your Mom jumped up from her spot on the couch and said, “dinner is almost ready.” She clapped her hands together. “Would you two mind helping us set the table?”

“Of course,” Elizabeth said, and you hummed a sort of quiet agreement.

Dinner was fine. You wondered if Elizabeth had been texting them about your day, because they didn’t follow up on what you did. They, thankfully, didn’t mention your therapy appointment once. You weren’t sure what you would say to them if they did.

Your Mom did mention during dinner that she had finally gotten all the paperwork from your university’s dean about your incomplete semester and that you were approved to finish your classes whenever you wished.

She didn’t dwell on the topic long and you didn’t ask any further questions. You weren’t sure how to feel. Just recently you were worried about what you were going to do after the semester, and now you didn’t even know when this semester would technically be over. You mostly just pushed it from your mind. 

After dinner, you went back to your room, if only to change and pick up the things you wanted for the beach. You still had maybe an hour of light left, and you thought that watching the sunset might be a nice way to end the day.

The light from your two new lamps was visible under the door to your room. You never turned them off anymore. 

Your room was just as you had left it this morning - almost. The sheet you had hung over the newly replaced window had fallen again. It had a hard time staying up. 

You walked across the room and tried not to look down. The three new carpets over the hardwood floors felt soft against your feet, but you knew that they were covering up the stains. 

There had been so much blood. 

You spent a few minutes putting the sheet back up over your window, handing on the nails you had hammered into the window frame. You could still see the evening sunlight through the sheet, but it was greatly dimmed. 

Satisfied, you spent a few minutes getting ready. Changing your clothes and applying sunscreen was simple enough, though it took you longer than normal to find your sunglasses.

You didn’t remember putting them in your desk drawer, but there they were.  
As you closed the drawer, you noticed that your sticky note pad was now out on top of your desk. You didn’t remember moving it, but you didn’t always remember things nowadays. Or maybe one of your mom’s moved it when they helped clean the room.

You ran your fingers around the edge of the pad. The top sticky note still had those notes written from that day at the library. 

_no._

_I’ll turn the pages for you._

_Ready to go?_

_I don’t think I’m going to get anything more done._

You thought about it for a moment, unsure of if you should throw it out, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to do so. 

You left it where it was and headed to the beach.

Gauging the sun’s height over the horizon, you guessed that you had about an hour before sunset, and then probably another hour of dim light left in the day, before the blanket of night fell over you. You weren’t sure if you would go home by then.

There was something about home and about your room in the night that was uncomfortable now. Sure, the cold and dark were off-putting anywhere, but you were always a little on edge in your room. And yet, you couldn’t help but spend your time there, hoping that Cove would come back.

You weren't sure what that said about you, seeking out that which made you the most uncomfortable.

The cool sea breeze picked up and you shivered. You found an empty spot on the sand and settled down, kicking off your shoes to dig them into the warm sand. Despite the breeze, it was still fairly warm out, and you were sure that the water would be too. 

You tried to ignore the goosebumps on the back of your neck. You couldn’t quite shake the feeling that someone was watching you, but there was no one around. You glanced this way and that, but the horizon was clear in every direction, just you and the sand and the crashing waves. 

To be honest, you always felt a little like someone was watching you nowadays.

It was a familiar feeling. When Cove was around, it was a comfort, and you only hoped that maybe he was watching you now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this might not be the chapter you want, but this is the chapter that needs to happen before the rest of the story can pick up. Yes, there are a lot of unanswered questions, but they will be answered eventually. I hope you can be patient with me. Thank you.
> 
> As always you can yell at me in the comments below or on my Tumblr by the same username.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the updated tags. I update as necessary before every chapter and this chapter may be triggering to some people.

_You tried to ignore the goosebumps on the back of your neck. You couldn’t quite shake the feeling that someone was watching you, but there was no one around. You glanced this way and that, but the horizon was clear in every direction, just you and the sand and the crashing waves._

_To be honest, you always felt a little like someone was watching you nowadays._

_It was a familiar feeling. When Cove was around, it was a comfort, and you only hoped that maybe he was watching you now._

\----------

You sat in the warm sand watching the waves surge forward and retreat in constant rhythm for nearly an hour. You let your mind wander, feeling your thoughts flutter through your head one by one without putting in the effort to actually grab hold of one. It was a mellow sort of fugue that you found comfort in. 

As the sun began to settle low on the horizon, the sky bloomed with red and golden light, and the first hints of purple tinged the edges. The breeze picked up faster as the light continued to fade and it sent another shiver up your spine.

You dug your feet deeper into the sand, but the layer underneath the surface was cold and damp and it did nothing to help.

The waves seemed so tempting. They were the same as they always were, unchanged yet always changing.

Fuck it. 

You picked yourself up with a groan, your limbs feeling stiff and heavy from sitting still for so long. Dusting the sand off your hands, you stepped forwards towards the water’s edge. 

The saltwater and seafoam lapped over your ankles before retreating. The water was fairly warm, and it felt nice on your skin. It was familiar. A new wave came surging forward and lapped over the tops of your feet again, and you watched as the sand shifted under your toes when the water began to retreat. 

It had been a while since you had gone swimming and in this moment you missed it. You slowly waded your way out until you were waist-deep, letting the surging waves crest over your shoulders. 

The motion of the water shifted you this way and that, and you planted your feet in the sand to keep from being dragged along. 

It didn’t take long for you to acclimate and you savored the feeling. You’d been a strong swimmer, having grown up in Sunset Bird, and you had spent so many days down here that your muscles' memory took over and let you think clearly for the first time in a long while. 

You remembered a lot more about that night than you told Dr. Johnson or anyone else. You remembered every moment in your room, with Cove, and you certainly remembered everything that happened before he disappeared. 

The problem was that it didn’t add up.

Cove had never mentioned seeing or knowing any other creatures or spirits that you couldn’t see. But, you knew that he wouldn’t lie or trick you like that, and you certainly had felt some kind of presence there. Something Cove could see but you could not.

Sure, you’d been a little focused on the broken glass and Cove and _not dying,_ but when you looked back, you knew that the fog and the wind in your room must have come from something or someone. 

If Cove existed as he did, then it would make sense that there was more out there like him.

The question is why. Why would something attack you both like that? Why would you be able to see Cove but not whatever this thing was? Why was Cove suddenly so different than he always had been? And why did Cove leave?

You hoped to find all these answers, but you weren’t really sure where to start. And more than anything, you wanted Cove back, just as things were before.

It was only now, swaying along with the water, that you were able to think on these things without dissolving into tears. Your heart ached and the memories from that night had left scars that would never heal, but in the cool, constant rolling of the ocean, you felt like you could start to unpack everything. 

Your memories of what happened after were a little more blurred, but they were still there. Your moms had found you in your room like that, sitting on the floor, and they bundled you up and took you to the hospital.

Then, there had been three days of doctors and police officers and questioning and sobbing and pain that was hard to pick apart the specific time of anything.

And then you returned home. 

One of the things that had bothered you, when you first returned home, was how the tarp covering your broken window would blow open in the breeze every night. You’d never realized how strong the coastal breeze was in town until you had a week without a window while you waited for it to be replaced. 

You’d slept on the couch for those nights. That was when you thought that there was no possibility that you would see Cove again.

As time passed and you were able to reflect, you realized that perhaps he would come back. He was a ghost after all, could they die again? It was hard not to have at least a little hope. 

But now, a month later, you thought that maybe hope was painful. 

Maybe he wouldn’t come back. 

You felt your face grow hot and tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. Standing there in the strong ebb and flow of the ocean, you pressed your palms to your eyes and willed the tears away. 

When that felt like it wasn’t enough, you ducked your head down, letting the cool water soothe your face and wash everything away. 

You let the wave pass above your head before standing back up, still maintaining a depth of about chest height in the water. You sucked in a shaky but deep breath to calm your lungs. Now was not the time for this. 

The sun just set below the horizon now, and the light was fading. The sky was more purple than gold now, and you could see the first stars creeping into the sky back in the direction of your house. 

You thought that maybe you should head home, take a shower, _try_ to sleep. Your moms were probably worried about you anyway. They always were nowadays. 

You turned to go back,

and your head was underwater.

You let out half a breath in shock as you were shoved violently under the oncoming wave. The pressure on your neck and shoulders was icy cold, pushing so hard that it bent you in half. 

Instinctually, you held your breath, but you had been unprepared and your lungs were already feeling uncomfortable. 

You reached your hands up and around to fight off whatever force was holding you down, but your hands passed through empty water. Nothing was there. 

The weight pushed harder and your feet slipped in the sand, sending you to your knees on the seafloor.

You tried to turn over to face upwards, but the weight on your shoulders gripped sharply into your skin. You felt the pain digging into your muscles, icy cold and stinging. 

Your lungs began to burn and you kicked up from the sand as hard as you could, twisting around and flailing your arms in an attempt to break free. The grip on your shoulders slipped, but before you could kick upwards to the surface, the icy cold pressure caught you on the chest and slammed downwards.

Your back hit the soft sand and it took all you had not to let the last air escape from your lungs right there. 

With burning eyes, you looked through the murky water and still couldn’t see your attacker, but you felt them against your chest, holding you to the seafloor. 

The ache in your lungs was almost unbearable now, and darkness began to creep in around the edges of your vision.

It felt so familiar. That weakness, that dizziness, that fire in your chest. 

Your arms thrashed about in a final attempt to knock off your opponent, but you made no contact, and your feet could find no purchase in the soft sand. You squeezed your eyes shut against the stinging saltwater, unable to see anything in the cloud of sand and seafoam anyway.

Your chest spasmed and the air you were holding bubbled out of you.

Your limbs felt like lead.

Your head throbbed.

Your lungs ached.

And you breathed.

Water sucked into your nose and mouth, filling your lungs, and you coughed involuntarily, sucking in even more water. 

Everything began to close in around you.

It was cold.

So cold.

Cove.

\----------

Is this where it ends? 

There was no soft, quiet, white light.

There was no peace in these final moments.

There was no chance for goodbye.

\----------

You coughed, hacking and vomiting up saltwater from your lungs.

It burned, unlike anything you had ever felt. Your head throbbed sharply as your vision started to come back to you, darkness replaced by spotty colors and bright light. 

Every nerve in your body was aching and all you wanted to do was lie there and breathe.

Another series of coughs wracked your body and your diaphragm clenched against another surge of nausea. You closed your eyes and flopped back against the sand heavily.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Everything else felt so far away now, so small. It was hard to pay attention to anything but your breath and the sweet ocean air. 

The smell of home. Even as your sinuses burned, you appreciated the sea air more than ever before.

Eventually, your senses slowly trickled back to you.

Your mouth tasted like saltwater and stomach bile. You somehow felt like you needed a drink and never wanted to see water again.

You were cold, so cold, and wet. The sand was clinging to you everywhere. It itched and scratched in the worst places, but that was barely noticeable against the pain that throbbed under your skin. And there was a warm weight at your back, holding your shoulders and head up slightly from the sand. 

You could hear the waves lapping against the shore rhythmically as if nothing had changed. In the distance, you heard a flock of seagulls chirping.

Your ears felt like someone had stuffed them full of cotton. Someone was mumbling, crying. It sounded distant, muffled, and it took you a long while to focus on the words. 

Cove.

“...god. Oh god. Jamie. Come back to me. Please. Please come back to me. I love you. I love you. Please, Jamie…” 

You felt his hand brush sand from your face, shaking and careful, but there. 

He bent his head down and tucked it into your shoulder, and you could hear his mumbling clearer now, and just as frantic.

You willed your eyes open, but it was slow, and it took a moment for them to adjust. Everything felt far too bright and your eyes stung from the saltwater. 

The sky above you was still shades of pink and purple as you left it, and directly above you, you could see a few tiny pinpricks of the first stars peaking out into the night sky. Like fireflies. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the familiar mop of green hair, tucked into your shoulder. It was damp and stuck out in all directions. A warm wetness trickled down your shoulder, and Cove let out a shaking breath. You still didn’t know why he was here, physically, but now of all times, you didn’t feel like questioning it. 

You tried to say something, but your throat burned and you reflexively coughed and heaved. 

You felt your diaphragm clench against another wave of nausea and without thinking you sat halfway up, emptying the last dregs of seawater from your stomach and coughing up another round of phlegm.

That almost hurt worse than your abused sinuses. 

You lay back heavily again, and realized that the weight against your back had been Cove’s lap. It felt warm and comforting. 

You scrubbed a leaden hand against your mouth to wipe the ick away. Prying your eyes open one more time, you looked up, directly into Cove’s eyes. 

He looked so concerned, cheeks stained with streaks of tears, eyes red and puffy and still leaking. 

You were so happy to see him.

He stared for a long moment, and you were content to stare back, letting your sandpaper throat rest as long as possible.

He looked as he always did, except for being thoroughly soaked as you were. His hair was plastered down to his face, and his shirt clung to his shoulders, bunching awkwardly. 

You’d never actually seen him this way before. As a ghost, it hadn’t seemed possible. 

Eventually, he leaned his head down and pressed a kiss into your forehead, mumbling into your skin, “Oh god, Jamie, you scared me.” With a shaky breath, he pulled away, and more firmly said, “don’t ever do that again.”

You tried your best to give a reassuring smile, though the skin of your face felt just as leaden. Suppressing another cough, you replied, “I don’t plan on it.”

All those questions from before passed through your mind, but you felt as though someone had stuffed cotton behind your eyes, making the ideas fuzzy and hard to grasp. 

Eventually, you settled on “what happened?”

What happened just now? What happened that night? What happened to him? You weren't really sure which you were asking. Your tongue felt like a slab of granite behind your teeth.

“It’s a long story.” Cove sighed. “But, I’ll tell you everything when I can. For now, we should get you home to rest.”

Thinking back to what happened in the water - the feeling of those cold, sharp fingers around your throat, you shuddered. “Is that thing going to come back?” 

He looked out over the ocean and across the beach. After a moment, he bent down to kiss you on the forehead. “No, I don’t think so. Not tonight.” He brushed the wet hair out of his eyes with the back of a sandy hand.

With Cove’s help, you shakily stood up and made your way up the beach and towards home. 

\----------

You were thankfully able to make your way into your house and up to your room without much questioning from your moms. They seemed a little surprised that you went swimming, but took your exhaustion and shivering simply as a result of spending a long time in the cold water. You Ma even commented that it was a good thing you got some fresh air outside. 

If only they knew. 

You debated showering away the seafoam and sand, but the thought of spending more time underwater made your skin crawl, and you really just wanted to sleep. 

Cove was waiting for you in your room when you got there, sitting on your bed in his favorite spot. His clothes and hair were now as dry and clean as they always looked. However, he seemed less relaxed than usual, almost vigilant in his scanning of your room. His gaze snapped from the window to you as you opened the door. 

You made your way across the room, barely picking your feet up enough to keep from tripping over the new rugs, and flopped down heavily on the bed.

Your nerves still twinged with pain from earlier, and the bounce on your bed brought around another series of coughs. 

You rolled over with a groan and pinched the bridge of your nose against the stinging sensation in your sinuses. A few moments of deep breathing later, you took the time to drink down some water to soothe your throat and felt like you could finally rest. 

But there were still so many unanswered questions.

“Cove?” Your voice was still raspy and weak, but speaking didn’t make it ache anymore.

He was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite read.

You weren’t sure what you wanted to say first, there were so many things left unsaid, but eventually, you settled on asking, “where have you been?”

“I’m sorry, Jamie.” He pressed a hand into his face. “I’ve been around, but it wasn’t safe.”

“What wasn’t safe? What happened that night?” 

He took a deep breath and sat up straighter. You could see the tension in his shoulders, but he was trying so hard to hold back whatever emotions he was feeling. He seemed to hesitate, unsure where to begin. 

“It’s ok, Cove. I’m right here.”

He deflated a little, and his shining eyes were locked onto you. “OK.” He nodded. “I don’t know how much you remember from that night.” 

“Some,” you responded quietly.

“I learned a lot that night… and since.” He paused, and you could see that he was picking his words carefully. “I’m not supposed to be here, like, at all, as a ghost. I’m only here because of you.”

“What?” You sat up, ignoring your spinning head.

“Ghosts exist, but they are built from trauma and negative energy. They are usually around for only a short while until the person gets to understand and let go of those negative feelings. They aren’t meant to stick around for years like I have.”

“Then how are you here?”

“I was one of those people for a while when we met. I was supposed to be here for a little while until I accepted the accident happened and it was time to move on. But I met you, and that changed everything.”

“What?” You tried to take everything he said in stride, but it wasn’t really adding up. “What do I have to do with this?”

“Some children can see ghosts, usually only when they are young. Most of these children grow out of it as they get older, but a few don’t. A few people out there can see ghosts their whole life - that’s why you could see me. These people are called Seers.”

OK. OK. I guess that made as much sense as everything else right about now. “Why me?”

“Well, I don’t know. It’s usually genetic, and parents can teach their children how to use it and control it. But-”

“But I’m adopted.” You let out a slow breath. “Right. OK.”

Cove looked like he wanted to say more, but was waiting for you to take your time to think. His wavy eyebrows were pinched together with concern.

“So did that affect you somehow? And is that why that thing came after you?”

“Kind of.” Cove rubbed his hands together as if to keep from doing something else. “Spending so much time with you meant that I was more connected here than I normally would have been. When a ghost like me normally would have moved on, I didn’t feel that pull to leave. I felt grounded here, and there weren’t any other Seers around who would have forced me to go.”

You tried to reach for his hands to stop the fidgeting, but your hands passed right through his. “Ah, sorry.”

“Don’t be, uh-” He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “I used up a lot of energy getting you to shore earlier. And, well…” He trailed off. 

“Thank you,” you said. 

“Being close to you makes me stronger. That’s why we were attacked, and that’s why I’m able to do the things I can do. But I’m still a ghost. I can’t do everything you can.”

“That’s why we were attacked? Because you can touch things sometimes?”

“It’s more complicated than that. That thing that attacked us calls himself The Ancient One and he hates Seers and any ghosts that choose to interact with them. I don’t know why. He’s what tried to hurt you today, too.”

“So he attacked you because of me? If I’m a Seer why can’t I see him?

“He’s not like other ghosts. He’s able to hide from Seers and even other ghosts if he wants to. I don’t know why he picked right then to attack, but he told me that he would leave you alone if I left you. So I did, but I didn’t trust it. I kept checking on you, and yesterday I caught him watching you. After that, I’ve been around at a distance. I knew he was planning something, and I’m glad I was here. He left you for dead out there and I don’t think he knows that you’re still alive.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I found another ghost like me - Jenny, she’s married to a Seer named Omar. They visited Sunset Bird together a few days ago and they offered to help me. To help us.”

You flopped back against the bed. All this information was making your head spin. “OK. I guess if I’m this special kind of person, it would be good for me to learn more about it.” You paused a moment before saying, “thank you, Cove. I’m glad you’re still here.”

“Of course, I-” You saw his cheeks flush and he didn’t want to meet your eyes. He whispered, “I love you.”

You smiled. Despite everything, your feelings hadn’t wavered. “I love you, too,” you whispered back. 

The two of you looked at each other, enjoying the silence and the break from the chaos. After a moment, Cove began to fidget under your gaze, and he broke the silence by saying, “you should sleep. I’ll keep an eye on you tonight to make sure that he doesn't come back.”

The exhaustion still weighed heavily on you, but the sand and seawater itched at your skin, and our swimwear was still slightly damp. 

Cove seemed to realize that at the same time. He coughed awkwardly and said, “you should probably get into something more comfortable.” His flush ran so high up his cheeks, it tinged his ears pink too.

Cove dutifully turned away and let you change. He’d never been quite so nervous about stuff like this, but you supposed that things were different now. 

You thought about using this moment to tease him further - the temptation was so strong now that you knew he felt the same way about you - but the exhaustion from the day weighed heavily on you still. You decided that there would hopefully be other times to tease him, where you were both rested and well.

Cove sat at the foot of your bed watching over you, and you were finally able to sleep, fully and deeply, for the first time since that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just hope that the bit of fluff at the end helps make up for how the chapter started hehe. 
> 
> Come yell at me at my tumblr.


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